the meaning of Ramadhan to me
i cannot believe Ramadhan is almost coming to an end. it seemed just like a week ago i was anticipating for the arrival of this most noble month to arrive with quiet eagerness. and now and all too soon, it will be the time to say goodbye.
the passing days had been filled with much reflection upon my own self, and of all the times for self-contemplation - the beginning of this holy month presented the best opportunity. like any other person, at times i feel that i am greatly flawed. even while performing my fast during this holy month, i encounter emotions such as anger, impatience and dissatisfaction (emotions that usually make itself present while i am driving to or back from work and being stuck in unnecessary traffic most of the time ;) - however, i often have to remind myself to be grateful that i actually have a workplace and a job to drive too, especially with the current state of the economy.
i am certain, the concept of being grateful or bersyukur were part of most of our upbringing. and for me, even during the darkest hours that my family had to live through - we were still taught to be thankful to Allah for all the blessings in our lives. and yet for this Ramadhan, i am also reminded of something beyond being grateful - which is, to be mindful of others' feelings. in my words and actions.
but how is this related to being grateful, you may ask? well, to me it is to remind myself that what i have may not be so easily obtained by others - say for example, 10 ringgit may not mean much to me, but to someone else it could make a whole world of difference to them.
or say buying my 'small' house - i am aware of the actual measurements and what 1215sf consist of, and i am extremely happy with it - but that didn't save me from encountering those who think it isn't 'big enough' and saying so to my face. it shouldn't bother me, and i convinced myself it doesn't - but then i find myself giving a response such as this "yes, we bought a place. ah...i know, it's not that big" to several people.
unfortunately that voice didn't belong to me. it belonged to Kak Lin (or nama semi-glamour, Addie, haha) - friend, confidant, work buddy and 'sister' whose opinions and views i honestly value. she gave me a look (okay, the look) and said "Are you insane? You bought a perfectly adequate house. I and family live in a 700sf apartment and we are happy - are you saying you are not going to be happy in your double-the-size-of-my-apartment house?" (or to that effect)
that was killing two birds with one stone in the category of life's lessons. one, it reminded me that i should never forget the gratefulness lesson. and two, which is even more important - when i say things like that, i could inadvertently be hurting someone else's feelings. which is somewhat the same concept as the 10 ringgit - and strangely the part in our life we can easily overlook.
benci nye nak drive balik rumah, asyik jam jer! ... how would this sound like to someone who has to go through the rush and crush of public transportation?
i wanted to buy Bobbi Brown lipstick, my husband tak kasi, so beli jelah Loreal - tak best lah! ... how would this sound like to someone who can only afford to buy non-branded cosmetics?
asyik makan lauk sama jer time buka, boring betul! ... how would this sound like to someone who doesn't even have enough food, much less a lauk to eat when it's time to break fast?
i think we should never apologize for our achievements or successes and what we can have as a result of that. Islam itself does not forbid its ummah in attaining wealth and success in this life, though we are reminded to constantly be aware of the hereafter and of how we make use of the rezeki God has bestowed upon us (a good write-up on the true meaning of Zuhud here) - but i suppose it doesn't hurt just to be more careful and perceptive at the things we do or say to others :)
there are many things we can do in trying to attain Allah's blessings for this month, terawikh prayer, sedekah or alms-giving, reading more of the Qur'an to name a few. but to me, being grateful and mindful are fundamental because i believe when you are completely at peace with who you are, you will be more ikhlas in all that you do. God willing.
the passing days had been filled with much reflection upon my own self, and of all the times for self-contemplation - the beginning of this holy month presented the best opportunity. like any other person, at times i feel that i am greatly flawed. even while performing my fast during this holy month, i encounter emotions such as anger, impatience and dissatisfaction (emotions that usually make itself present while i am driving to or back from work and being stuck in unnecessary traffic most of the time ;) - however, i often have to remind myself to be grateful that i actually have a workplace and a job to drive too, especially with the current state of the economy.
i am certain, the concept of being grateful or bersyukur were part of most of our upbringing. and for me, even during the darkest hours that my family had to live through - we were still taught to be thankful to Allah for all the blessings in our lives. and yet for this Ramadhan, i am also reminded of something beyond being grateful - which is, to be mindful of others' feelings. in my words and actions.
but how is this related to being grateful, you may ask? well, to me it is to remind myself that what i have may not be so easily obtained by others - say for example, 10 ringgit may not mean much to me, but to someone else it could make a whole world of difference to them.
or say buying my 'small' house - i am aware of the actual measurements and what 1215sf consist of, and i am extremely happy with it - but that didn't save me from encountering those who think it isn't 'big enough' and saying so to my face. it shouldn't bother me, and i convinced myself it doesn't - but then i find myself giving a response such as this "yes, we bought a place. ah...i know, it's not that big" to several people.
hold it, what's this?
unfortunately that voice didn't belong to me. it belonged to Kak Lin (or nama semi-glamour, Addie, haha) - friend, confidant, work buddy and 'sister' whose opinions and views i honestly value. she gave me a look (okay, the look) and said "Are you insane? You bought a perfectly adequate house. I and family live in a 700sf apartment and we are happy - are you saying you are not going to be happy in your double-the-size-of-my-apartment house?" (or to that effect)
that was killing two birds with one stone in the category of life's lessons. one, it reminded me that i should never forget the gratefulness lesson. and two, which is even more important - when i say things like that, i could inadvertently be hurting someone else's feelings. which is somewhat the same concept as the 10 ringgit - and strangely the part in our life we can easily overlook.
benci nye nak drive balik rumah, asyik jam jer! ... how would this sound like to someone who has to go through the rush and crush of public transportation?
i wanted to buy Bobbi Brown lipstick, my husband tak kasi, so beli jelah Loreal - tak best lah! ... how would this sound like to someone who can only afford to buy non-branded cosmetics?
asyik makan lauk sama jer time buka, boring betul! ... how would this sound like to someone who doesn't even have enough food, much less a lauk to eat when it's time to break fast?
i think we should never apologize for our achievements or successes and what we can have as a result of that. Islam itself does not forbid its ummah in attaining wealth and success in this life, though we are reminded to constantly be aware of the hereafter and of how we make use of the rezeki God has bestowed upon us (a good write-up on the true meaning of Zuhud here) - but i suppose it doesn't hurt just to be more careful and perceptive at the things we do or say to others :)
"I complained that I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet"
- Persian proverb (probably)
- Persian proverb (probably)
there are many things we can do in trying to attain Allah's blessings for this month, terawikh prayer, sedekah or alms-giving, reading more of the Qur'an to name a few. but to me, being grateful and mindful are fundamental because i believe when you are completely at peace with who you are, you will be more ikhlas in all that you do. God willing.
